


The Folly of a Snakeish Being

by KillerQueeenBee



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Comfort, Gentle Kissing, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21980872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerQueeenBee/pseuds/KillerQueeenBee
Summary: Crowley goes into shed and doesn't tell Aziraphale. The angel comes to find Crowley only to offer moral support and a little more.Please forgive any snake related errors, I am but a humble and lazy writer of little research.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 172





	The Folly of a Snakeish Being

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Puckabrinaluver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puckabrinaluver/gifts).



Being a snakeish being came with it certain... snake-like qualities. These qualities included: eye appearance, ability to smell with one's tongue, a detest for extreme temperatures, partial colorblindness, emphasis on the letter 's,' and (most irritatingly), the need to shed. Crowley was one such being with all the aforementioned symptoms off Snake. Snakes usually shed after certain amounts of time, but Crowley only seemed to shed after being wildly stressed or upset. He had shed four times in his life so far: 3004 B.C., 1862 A.D., 1967, and 1991. Now, post-Armagedidn't, he was going into shed again. He shouldn't have been surprised, but he was certainly not pleased.

It always started with Crowley thinking he might be getting tired or must've had too much to drink. His eyes started to get a little blurry, then a lot blurry, and then he couldn't see at all and that's when things really went south. He'd been at the bookshop with Aziraphale when he first noticed his vision going. Crowley saw Aziraphale nearly every day now, if not actually every single day. It was nice to see the angel without the fear that they could be murdered any day for meeting. Well, technically that still could possibly happen, but Crowley was fairly certain they'd scared the Hell and the Heaven out of their collegues, which hopefully meant they'd be left alone for a very, very long time.

Anyhow, once Crowley started to notice he might be going into shed he made a quick excuse about gluing coins to the ground while it was still light outside and he hurried off without saying anything else. Aziraphale had found it odd but Crowley was gone before he could even form a proper question. Once he was gone, Aziraphale thought back over their conversation. Had he upset the demon? He dearly hoped not.

Crowley could see well enough to drive the speed limit and not hit anyone but he was thankful when he made it home. His vision was worsening by the minute and so was his mood. He locked the door behind himself once inside his flat and willed his clothes away because they were starting to irritate his skin. 

He managed to get to his bathroom without running into anything and he started to run warm water for a bath. His bathroom was, of course, sleek and minimalist like the rest of his place. The tub was shaped rather like an egg with a thin edge and high walls. It was bigger than your average bathtub, merely because Crowley expected it to be big enough to fit comfortably in. He leaned in close to the mirror and he tried to check his eyes. They were clouding, but not yet anywhere near that fully cloudy blueish color that they turned when they were almost ready to come off.

He then went back out to check on his plants. He gave them all a thorough misting and with a snap of his fingers the floor became a humid and mossy sort of terrain with large, rough rocks strewn about. "I'm going into shed, you miserable excuses for plantsss. Ssso don't even _think_ about fucking up for the next week and a half, or I will shred each and every one of you the sssecond it'sss over." He growled and the plants were too scared to even allow themselves to tremble. They could tell he was angry, and deadly serious about the threat. Good.

Crowley made his way back to the bathroom when he got straight into the bathtub. He then shifted into his snake form and made a pleased little hum as he curled up and settled with his head resting on his body to keep it out of the water. He then closed his eyes and music started playing from speakers that were seemingly no where to be found. 

Crowley let the soft music settle over him and he managed to calm down a little, though he was still rather unhappy. His skin itched and his plans for at least the next week, if not the next two were completely out of the question. Crowley drifted off to sleep thinking about Freddie Mercury despite the fact that no Queen was allowed to play in here. It had hurt too much, last time.

When Crowley woke, it was perhaps a day later. He heard his phone buzzing somewhere but he couldn't be arsed to find it, or answer it. His vision was all but gone and he wanted to claw his own skin off. It was rather unfortunate that snakes didn't have claws, if only unfortunate for him in this exact moment, and no one else.

Crowley let out a little hiss of displeasure and did some unhappy laps around the inside of the tub. The smooth porcelain of the walls did nothing to soothe the itch in Crowley's skin, but the warm water and the movement did alleviate some of the restlessness he was feeling. He heard his phone going off again, buzzing irritably wherever it had been left.

Crowley growled and lifted his head above the edge of the tub. "Shut up!!" He hissed, and the phone became silent. "Ngyeh." He mumbled as he slithered out of the tub and wiggled his way toward his designated shedding spot. He lifted his head and stuck out his tongue, scenting the air near his plants. There wasn't even a hint of rot. Good. 

Crowley put his head back down and squirmed into the moss. He got comfortable buried in the soft foliage and made himself very still in hopes of falling back to sleep once more before the hard work had to begin.

That thought was abruptly interrupted when he heard frantic knocking at the door. "No no no no no no no no." Crowley hissed, lifting his head. He could hear shouting on the other side of the door and suddenly it was open and it was Aziraphale's voice, sounding concerned.

Crowley panicked. "Fuck. Shit. Basssstard. Why issss he here?" He hissed to himself or maybe his plants before he tried to slither very quickly into the next room (which was deeper into his home and farther away from Aziraphale), but in his haste and blindness he launched himself right into a stone wall. He absolutely wailed in pain and wondered if his nose might now be broken. It hurt like it was, but he had other things to worry about.

Aziraphale had been a little concerned about Crowley when he'd left the bookshop, but that concern grew into the 'worried sick' sort of feeling after Crowley hadn't shown up for their dinner at the Ritz without so much as a call. He'd called and called Crowley and when there was no answer, Aziraphale had feared the worst. He got here faster than anyone has ever gotten anywhere before, he was certain of it. 

"Crowley? Crowley, I'm coming in, I'm very worried about you!" He called through the door after knocking loudly. He let himself in not a moment later, and he wasn't sure where to look for Crowley until he heard a noise that cut right into his soul. He waved a hand and the door closed and locked himself and he hurried over to where he'd heard the sound come from. He got there just in time to see the tip of a black and red tail disappear around the corner.

"Crowley! It's me. Are you okay? What's wrong?" Aziraphale asked as he tiptoed through the damp, mossy little environment. He frowned when he turned the corner and saw no sign of Crowley, but he did see a small trail of... _blood_? "Crowley, my dear, if you're hurt I can help you. Please come out."

"Everything'ssss fine. Pleassse go away!" Crowley tried to sound less, well, _snakey,_ but it didn't work. He curled up in a coil behind a statue and tried to make himself invisible.

Aziraphale found Crowley behind the statue a moment later. "My dear Crowley, whatever is the matter?" He asked, crouching down near the pedestal, Aziraphale frowned. He couldn't get behind it because of how close it was to the wall, so if Crowley refused to come out, there would really be nothing he could do.

Crowley could taste and smell blood that he was sure was coming from his nose and he knew his scales were dull and his eyes probably a dusty blue and he just wanted to poof right out of existence. "I'm fine." He hissed, raising his head to 'look' in Aziraphale's general direction. "Pleassssse leave. I'll be normal in a week or two. Jussssssst leave me alone!"

Crowley said it so angrily that Aziraphale actually did consider leaving. But he knew Crowley probably wanted company but didn't want to ask. He was always like that. "Oh, Crowley. At least let me help you with your nose?" He requested gently. He wouldn't be deterred by Crowley's foul mood. Crowley needed him.

Crowley growled and snapped his jaw at Aziraphale, though he didn't get anywhere near the angel. It wasn't really supposed to hurt Aziraphale, just scare him off. "It'sssss fine." He hissed.

Aziraphale, Guardian of the Eastern Gate and Principality of the Lord, then suddenly realized what was wrong. It had taken him entirely far too long, but he knew it now. "Oh, my dear Crowley. You're shedding, aren't you?" He asked gently and that made Crowley pause.

The Serpent of Eden gave a tiny nod at Aziraphale's question and then he very slowly slithered toward the angel. He didn't feel like fighting anymore and he knew Aziraphale wasn't going anywhere any time soon. He wanted to be comforted now, if Aziraphale was offering.

Aziraphale smiled when Crowley approached him and when the snake was close enough he gently touched his head and healed the poor boy's nose. The blood disappeared and though Crowley stilled looked a bit in a bad way, at least he wasn't hurting so much anymore. "There you are, my dear. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

And no, it wasn't. It was actually very nice, that soft tingling feeling that the angel left behind once he was healed. "Thanksssss, angel." He said softly. He flicked his tongue out to lick Aziraphale's hand before he began to wiggle his way back to his own personal mossy haven.

Aziraphale followed Crowley and was careful not to step on the long length of him. "Crowley, is there any way I can help you?" He asked carefully. He remembered only a little about snake shedding, which he must have learned in a book over the last six thousand years. He knew he shouldn't touch Crowley too much if at all unless he needed him. He knew the eyes were some of the first scales to come off, which should be a relief for Crowley, once he could see again. 

"No. There'ssss really nothing you can do. But... your company would be appreciated." Crowley said as he curled back up in the moss. "You can read or sssssomething if you want to. And bring a chair over." He mumbled from under a fair amount of moss. He could feel that his skin still wasn't totally ready, so it was time to wait some more. He might go back to sleep, if he could. He hoped his angel didn't mind too terribly.

Aziraphale watched Crowley bury himself and he couldn't help a fond smile. He thought an armchair and book into existence and he got comfortable beside Crowley. He settled in to read for a rather long while, happy to just be here for Crowley of he should need anything.

Crowley managed to fall asleep even faster knowing that Aziraphale was here to protect him should something happen. He should have known Aziraphale would be nothing but understanding and caring. He'd been feeling so many negative things about shedding for so long that it hadn't even crossed his mind that the angel might be kind about it.

Aziraphale read a fair number of books before Crowley stirred again. He figured it had been about a day and a half, maybe two. He was about to ask Crowley how he was feeling when he abruptly raises his head and shook off all the moss.

Crowley woke up and he knew he was ready to get the fuck out of this skin. He lifted his head and quickly sought out one of the rough rocks using his tongue and his trusty memory. He then began to rub his nose against the rock, trying to get the skin to start peeling away. It was a slow process to get the scales to begin to come away but once it started it would be easier work from then on.

The next few days were passed in relative quiet, Aziraphale was content to read and relax as Crowley kept working to get his scales to come off. Crowley seemed irritated and uncomfortable, but Aziraphale didn't think he could do anything for the demon. Not when Crowley was like this. So he just sat by and made sure Crowley was as okay as he could be in the moment.

Crowley could see again, so that was good. It helped him to better navigate around the rocks as his shed inched down his body. It was exhausting, irritating, unnecessary, ugly, stressful, idiotic, and stupid, in Crowley's humble opinion. (So maybe he was still a bit grumpy about the whole situation.)

Aziraphale occasionally magicked up some tea or cocoa or something small to eat, but he never left. Crowley was extremely grateful for that, even if he didn't talk to the angel or look at him for more than half a second.

After a few more days, Crowley was finally free of all his old skin and though he was a little bit sensitive, he was a lottle bit in need of attention. He slithered over to Aziraphale and poked his head up over Aziraphale's book. "I'm cold." He said, and then continued to climb up Aziraphale's body.

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow when Crowley came up and he said he was cold. Ah, he was searching for body warmth, then. "Make yourself comfortable, my dear. Is there anything else I can do for you? You look stunning, you know." All of Crowley's scales were now shinier than he'd ever seen them.

Crowley wrapped himself around Aziraphale's middle and down his leg with his head resting on Aziraphale's shoulder. "Thiss iss perfect. Thank you, angel." He murmured, nuzzling up against Aziraphale's neck. 

Aziraphale pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Crowley's head before he went back to reading.

Crowley made a surprised little sound and before he knew it he was transforming back into a man-shaped-being in Aziraphale's lap. "Ah. Um. Hi." He wrapped his arms slightly awkwardly around Aziraphale's neck.

Aziraphale set his book aside and placed his hands comfortably on Crowley's hips. "Hello, my dear boy. Did I fluster you?" He asked gently, smiling as he traced light fingers over Crowley's flushed cheeks.

"N-ngk." Crowley managed, giving a little shake of his head. However, it was quite obvious that the angel had in fact, flustered the heaven out of him. 

"Crowley, you are not a very good liar." Aziraphale pointed out with a chuckle. He then pressed a light kiss to Crowley's lips. Crowley leaned in for a more heated kiss, but Aziraphale pulled away. "If you want anything more than that, my dear, you are going to have to promise me something." Aziraphale insisted. 

Crowley's lip stuck out in a slight pout, but he quirked an eyebrow to show he was listening. It was the best he could do, since his gut instinct was to say _Anything, angel. Ask and it's yours._

__"If you're going to run off and not return my calls, let me come with you, or at the very least tell me what's happening?" Aziraphale asked, running his fingers gently through Crowley's hair._ _

__"I'm sorry. Of course I promise, angel." Crowley breathed and he kissed his angel once more._ _

__And then they did a little more._ _


End file.
